we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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