I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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