why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
