So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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