explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
