Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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