i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
