that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
