She is in my trunk
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
