I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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