the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
