Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
