I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
