my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
