I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
