Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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