OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
