just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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