perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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