apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
