she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
