i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
