I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
