On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
