ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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