I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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