I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I skipped work to stalk him.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
