I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
