just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
