The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
