i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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