3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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