Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize