discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
God, I missed his penis.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
