i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
