In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
