first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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