God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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