Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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