I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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