he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
