oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
