Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
