Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize