i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
