she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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