Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
