I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize