So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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