Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
