Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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