Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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