You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
