Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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