I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
