He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
