someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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