Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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