I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
