so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
