wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize